Burning Hearts Page 13

  Now she did. She’d learned firsthand that their cases weren’t fun and games like she’d seemed to assume in the past. She was the administrator for the PIs, so she didn’t spend a lot of time seeing the less appealing aspects of the job. She filed reports and monitored finances and sometimes she did deeper research, but for the most part, she was protected from the uglier side of human nature.

  Realizing Holly and Jack had been in real danger had left a mark on all of them. Sam had grown up a bit, and the team had grown stronger as a unit. Before, these women had been her coworkers and friends. Now they felt more like her sisters.

  “Is it being stuck with Joshua?” Tika, their primary legal investigator, pressed.

  “You don’t have to talk about anything private if you don’t want,” Holly said from across the table.

  Eva did want to talk, but she didn’t know where to start. She didn’t want to admit how confused she was. She was a PI. She wasn’t supposed to be confused and wishy-washy and so fucking mixed up inside. She wasn’t supposed to be this scared.

  Running her fingers through her hair, she puffed her cheeks up and blew out the breath, letting her lips vibrate as she tried to decide where to start. There was no good place, so she just opened her mouth and let the words tumble out. “I kissed him.”

  Sam widened her eyes. “What?”

  Tika gasped. “When?”

  “After we got home from the ER last night.”

  “It was the adrenaline,” Rene offered. “It’s normal to feel a little randy after coming down from trauma.”

  “No, that wasn’t it.” Eva frowned. “He said that he loves me.” She pressed her lips together. She hadn’t meant to tell them that part. She hadn’t meant to ever tell anyone that part. But there it was, lingering amongst the goofy grins and quiet gasps.

  The only one who hadn’t reacted was Holly. If she was surprised, she didn’t show it. She was a master at hiding her emotions.

  “What did you say?” Tika asked with the same wonderment Eva would expect to hear from a child asking a magician how he stole her nose.

  Holly cleared her throat and cast a warning glance, causing Tika to sit back. “Eva, if you’d be more comfortable with one of us staying with you, we can always make an excuse to the residents that Josh is on a business trip.”

  Sinking back in her chair, Eva considered the option. Without Josh there, she could probably think through whatever was happening between them. She could make sense of all the turmoil in her mind. But the thought of waking up without his arms around her caused an ache in her chest she couldn’t deny. She didn’t want Josh to go. She needed him there. For reasons she couldn’t explain.

  “Tika, Sam,” Rene said as she stood. “Come with me.”

  Their disappointment was palpable, but Eva appreciated the thinning out of the audience. She didn’t doubt for a moment that before she even got back to the condo, the rest of the team would know every word she’d said, but not having all those inquisitive eyes on her eased her stress.

  Alexa moved to the chair Sam had occupied and took Eva’s hand. Holly didn’t move, nor did the soul-searching look in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Eva,” she said. “This is my fault. I pushed Josh on you.”

  Eva shook her head. “No. You were right. I’ve needed his help more than once.”

  “I knew the history there. I should have respected your request that he not move in with you.”

  “Holly,” she stated, “this would have come to a head at some point. It’s not like I can avoid him when he’s basically part of the team. Besides, you were right. It is best for me to have backup since I’m actually living this case. This isn’t your fault.”

  Alexa squeezed her hand. “I’ll come stay.”

  Eva shook her head. “What would we say to Josh?”

  “I’ll handle Josh,” Holly said. “Don’t worry about that.”

  Unexpected tears sprang to Eva’s eyes, and she had to swallow around the lump in her throat. “He’d never forgive me.”

  “I’ll take the heat,” Holly insisted. “In light of his injury, I don’t feel he’s qualified to be on the case. There. Done.”

  Eva shook her head. “Don’t do that, Hol. He’d be devastated. I’ll be okay.”

  “I pushed, too,” Alexa said. “I’m sorry.”

  Biting her lip, Eva thought back on everything that had transpired since moving into the condo at Jupiter Heights. “The thing is…you’re both right. I want him there. I miss him when he’s gone. But…”

  “But he said the L-word and that’s scary,” Holly offered.

  Eva had to swallow again. Even so, she could barely find her voice. “Terrifying.”

  “The first time Jack and I said those words, I was scared, too. It’s a big step to admit you feel so deeply for someone.”

  “We see a lot of bad things in our line of work,” Alexa said. “But we see good things, too, you know. Look at Holly and Jack.”

  Holly smiled. “I never would have met him if it weren’t for the ugliness in the world. And he’s helping me.” She glanced at Alexa, tapped her fingers, and then drew a deep breath. “Listen, you know my mom was murdered when I was young.”

  Eva nodded slowly, not seeing what this had to do with anything.

  “The thing is… Something that I have a really hard time sharing with people is that I was there, Eva. I saw it happen.”

  Eva’s heart shattered for her friend. Suddenly so many things about Holly Austin made sense. Witnessing that kind of event at such a young age had to have left untold scars on the woman. No wonder she had a hard time showing emotion. “Hol,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

  “How long have you known me?”

  “Since high school.”

  “And I never felt comfortable telling you that because…”

  “She blames herself and thinks everyone else is going to blame her,” Alexa stated.

  Eva narrowed her eyes. “You knew?”

  “Only because I got her drunk one night and pried it out of her.” Alexa squeezed Eva’s hand. “You know she likes to feel guilty about everything, even things she can’t control.”

  Holly ignored Alexa’s chastising tone. “I told Jack within a week of knowing him. I felt compelled to tell him. We have this weird connection that makes me feel…” She rolled her eyes and snorted out a half laugh. “Fuck, this sounds corny as hell. He makes me feel whole, Eva. He did from the moment we met. And I know you feel that way about Josh. You may not want to admit it, but he complements you in ways that never would have made sense until you met him. Jack needed to know this part of me in order for everything we have to fall into place. Telling him my darkest secrets, fearing he’d judge me, was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done. And I’ve done some crazy shit in my life.”

  Eva chewed at her lip before nodding. “He’s so naive,” she said with a laugh as she nabbed a tissue out of the box that had permanent residence on the table. “He’s a coroner, for God’s sake. He spends his days figuring out how people died, and he still thinks the world should be sunshine and rainbows.”

  “Yes, he does. He’s adorable and sweet. And I believe that he does love you,” Alexa offered.

  Eva wiped her nose. “I think so, too.” Focusing on Holly, Eva offered her a soft smile. “That cold case that you are always working on. Is that for your mom?”

  Holly nodded, and in a rare show of emotion, her eyes saddened. “I’ve never stopped looking for the man who killed her. I never will. Jack’s helping, but…the likelihood of ever finding him is fairly nonexistent.”

  “I’ll help if you want.”

  Alexa brushed her hand over Eva’s back. “I’ve been trying to get her to bring it to the meeting for months.”

  Eva eyed her. “You know we’d all help.”

  “I know. I just… When I’m ready. But we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about you and Josh. Do you love him?”

  Biting her lip, she
considered the situation for a moment before nodding. “I do, but…”

  “But what?”

  Wiping her eyes, she let out a long breath. “He wants me to change.”

  “No,” Alexa said softly. “That’s not what he wants, honey. He was just so scared for you. You’re not the only one who has to deal with the harm people can do to each other. He sees it all the time. He didn’t show it well, but he was just scared for you.” Running her hand over Eva’s back, she sighed. “After my sister disappeared, I couldn’t leave the house. For the longest time, my mami wouldn’t even open the blinds. Papi drove me to school and picked me up every day. I wasn’t allowed to walk anywhere. They changed the hours of their store to accommodate my life. It was unrealistic, but they were so scared someone would kidnap me too that they lived by that fear, even if it didn’t make sense. Josh knows you can’t stop working as a PI. He knows that’s unreasonable. But so is fear.”

  “My dad signed me up for jiu-jitsu after Mom was killed. Jack asked to be added to the list of people who can see my tracer,” Holly said. “He wanted to see where I was all the time. I was hesitant at first. I don’t want him to stalk me. But after I thought about it, I made him start carrying a tracer, too. We went through hell together, and sometimes the best way to cope isn’t always logical. Sometimes I need to open that app and see his marker moving to ease my mind. And he needs to do the same. Josh works with dead people every day, Eva. It isn’t hard to imagine he dreads the day someone he cares about ends up on his table.”

  Eva exhaled. “He has to accept I’m not altering my work to accommodate him.”

  “That’s fair,” Alexa said. “But you also have to remember that he doesn’t always understand that the risk isn’t the same for you as it is for most women on the street. He knows you can take care of yourself, but sometimes knowing isn’t enough to calm the worry.”

  Eva frowned. “I get that.”

  “So what are you going to do about it?” Holly asked.

  Alexa smiled and nudged her. “She’s going to go get her man. That’s what.”

  Eva let out a slow breath, somehow relieved that Alexa and Holly had pushed the Josh issue. She probably never would have found the courage to make a move on her own. She’d have analyzed it forever.

  “And Shane Tremant?” Holly added.

  “Oh, yes,” Eva stated. She might have her brain in the blender where Josh was concerned, but she knew exactly what needed to be done on the case. “I am definitely going to get Shane Tremant.”

  Josh knew all of Eva’s weaknesses, and second only to pasta was a perfectly grilled steak. He stopped at the butcher on his way home from work. Well, their temporary home. They hadn’t lived together when they were dating. They’d spent a lot of time at each other’s homes, but they’d never moved in together. He’d felt as if they were getting close to that point—he’d been spending way more time at her apartment than his—when he’d blown it. He hadn’t meant to push her too far with his worries, but his concerns were valid. What kind of jerk wouldn’t be worried about his girlfriend when she dealt with criminals day in and day out?

  The broken nose he’d received while helping her work a case seemed to validate the idea that he should worry about her.

  But he understood now that he had worried too much and made her feel incompetent. He was doing better. He hadn’t pointed out once that it could have been her who got her faced bashed in. Of course, that was mostly because she probably wouldn’t have gotten her face bashed in. Eva had cobra-like reflexes. She would have stopped the door from breaking her nose and kicked the ass of the man on the other side before anyone else knew what had happened.

  Instead of hovering and worrying, Josh had relished her jealousy at Courtney’s come-ons and had been focused on reminding her of all the good times they’d shared while stepping back from his doubts and letting her be the strong woman he knew her to be. Even though he was terrified that she’d get herself into some kind of mess she couldn’t escape, having his own ass kicked had somehow made him see she was right all along—he was a much bigger target for violence than she was.

  He’d slept well the night before. Sure, that could be attributed to the impact the chemical breakdown of the drugs he’d been given at the ER had on his ventrolateral preoptic nucleus, but also because he finally got it. The distortion he’d had on reality had finally cleared. Eva was tougher than he’d ever be. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t worry about her, but being on the receiving end of getting his butt handed to him by a locker room door gave him the perspective to really appreciate her strength.

  He wet his fingers and flicked them toward the grill top he was preheating, but the water didn’t sizzle when it landed. The grill wasn’t ready, which was fine. He had a few more seasonings to add to his homemade steak rub before searing in the flavors. Looking over the options that sat on the two-tiered lazy Susan tucked in the corner, he started to reach for garlic salt but faltered in his movements. Granted, the kitchen had been fully stocked when they’d moved in, and he couldn’t possibly have memorized everything, but he was certain there had not been a bottle of sunflower oil tucked next to the olive and vegetable oils.

  He stared at the label, trying to jar his memory, before he grabbed the seasonings he’d intended. Sprinkling additional flavor onto the raw steaks, he brushed his hands on his apron and tested the head on the grill again. His flicking was met with the telltale sizzle of a preheated grill.

  “Perfect,” he muttered to himself. He dropped two sirloins onto the surface and then washed his hands and headed into the bedroom. Eva would chop his fingers off if she caught him touching her equipment, but he wasn’t about to text her and have her think he was an idiot if the oil had been there all along. Turning on her camera, he scrolled through the photos she’d taken the last time they’d returned to the condo.

  She did that each time and compared them to the last. Each time, she made notes and told him he’d be the first to know if she found anything. He took that to mean she hadn’t. But maybe he had. Flipping through the images, he stopped on the last series of close-ups on the kitchen. He swallowed hard as he confirmed what he was certain he already knew—that bottle of oil had not been there yesterday.

  And they hadn’t gone grocery shopping since then. That bottle did not belong in their kitchen.

  He turned off the camera and sank onto the edge of the bed. What should he do? What would Eva do? He spied the thermal camera in her bag of tricks and picked it up. Clutching the camera, he looked through the bedroom door toward the kitchen. If there were a camera in that bottle, the heat would show up as a white blotch in the thermal image. He knew that much from his mini detection training session with Alexa.

  He should confirm his suspicions before taking them to Eva. Then she wouldn’t have to know if he were wrong. He could act like this never happened. But if he was right, he could prove to her that he wasn’t as much of a pain in her backside as she thought. Turning the camera on as he went back to the kitchen, he scanned the bottle and his breath caught. The center of the label had a distinct white aura that definitely wouldn’t be there if the bottle only contained oil.

  Holy cow.

  Holy. Freaking. Cow.

  He was being recorded. Someone had broken into their condo and placed a camera, and he was being recorded. Setting the camera down, he pulled his phone from his pocket and fumbled to get the text app open. Finding Eva’s name, he fervently typed: Where are you?

  HEARTS, she answered.

  Get home. Think there’s a camera here.

  Do NOT touch anything! On the way.

  He sank onto the barstool, not moving until the scent of cooking beef reminded him the steaks were overdue for flipping. He scowled at a sudden realization. If Eva was at the office, she wouldn’t be alone. And she likely wouldn’t arrive at the condo alone.

  Grabbing his phone again, he typed: How many for dinner?

  5.

  Six. Because he doubted she counted him
in that.

  Including you, she added.

  Huh. How about that? Drumming his fingertips on the counter, he tried to figure the best way to change his dinner plan to cover five. Egg noodles and gravy would take his intended steak-and-steamed-veggies dinner for two to somewhat decent serving sizes for five. He didn’t have rolls, but he did have a loaf of artisan bread and real butter. That would have to do. Getting to work, hyperaware of the camera watching him, he started water boiling for the noodles and whipped up a big batch of brown gravy.

  Not his best work, but by the time Eva, Rene, Alexa, and Holly rushed in, he was almost ready to serve.

  “Dinner first,” he said before Eva could ask about the camera.

  She opened her mouth, but the other women headed right to the table. “Traitors,” she muttered.

  “We’re hungry,” Rene said, reminding Josh the woman had what sometimes seemed like supernaturally strong hearing.

  He smiled but then winced a bit. He kept forgetting how tender his damned black eyes were.

  Eva tilted her head, and what could pass for sympathy touched her eyes. “You look like a bad lightweight boxer, Joshie.”

  He chuckled.

  Holding up her fists in a fighting posture, she smirked. “Maybe I should show you a few moves, hmm?”

  “Or buy me a football helmet.”

  She pretended to ponder his suggestion before changing the subject. “Where is it?”

  “Dinner first.”

  Cocking a brow, she pressed, “I can find it myself.”

  “I know. But I went to the trouble of cooking dinner. You’re going to eat while it’s hot.” He hefted the pot of noodles, gravy, and chopped steaks. “Grab the pitcher of iced tea I made earlier.”